Thursday, January 19, 2012

Po-TaY-to... Po-ToTotal-disaster

Mashed into fluffy piles with butter, sliced into wedges and smothered with butter, or sliced thin and sauteed in butter, sweet potatoes are yummy no matter how you serve them up, which is why I tried my best to grow them last year. Well, okay, I putzed through it with all the gusto of a 90 year old sitting on her front porch with a glass of lemonade on a blistering summer day. But the point is that I did TRY it.
I went with the trash bag method.
Time tested. Nature approved. Except when nature doesn't approve. In fact, nature seems to get very vengeful when I sneak out into the yard, black thumb covered in still-wet green paint slowly dripping into my palm. She's not easily fooled. If she was real, I'd probably think of her as the popular kid and she'd think of me as someone to stuff into a school locker. A really small school locker that smells like sweaty gym clothes. Thank goodness nature is just nature. But this is what happened to my trash bag of sweetness last year.
That is my back yard. And somewhere under the massive tree lying across my property is a sad and pathetic little bag of baby sweet potatoes, pre-sliced into french fries by the limbs skewering it. Coupled with the bizare fall snow storm, my vines died a horrible death. I did tear the bag open and pull out the pittance of potatoes inside. So much potential all in the size of a potato large enough for 4 little fries...
But this year, I go big or I grow home (fries). (I'm sorry-that was horrible; it doesn't even make sense.)

I'm going to try the straw method. Seed potatoes get tossed onto good soil and covered with straw; and then some more straw; and then some more straw. When you have a fluffy pile and lots of time has elapsed, you drag away the straw and VIOLA- french fries for life- or a few weeks at least in my house.
 Has anyone ever tried potatoes at home before? Success stories? Faliures...? Warnings? ;)

2 comments:

  1. go get 'em sugar~ also, a 5 year old observing over my shoulder says of your pictures "or we could have a nerf gun fight."

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  2. Bahaha. The prose of your tragedy is pure gold. Good to know something good can still come from the sorrow of potastrophe.

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